Metal Sub-Genres Explained:

The story is, there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. This is how the story would play out, depending on the metal genre of the knight:

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

HEAVY/CLASSIC METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads its guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE (PROG) METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist...

-IMH Records Revealed-

Record I
Patient A: "So how... this book’s not bad ya?"Patient B: "Excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense shit, sharp and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art too many character names to remember!!!"Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you. Put the telephone book back to the original place?"

Record II
One doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."Doctor: "Hmm.. that's normal...So if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen to you?"Patient: "Then I will not be able to see..."The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"Patient: "Because my spectacles will drop down..."

Record III
IMH has an old lady who wears black everyday, carries a black umbrella and squats @ the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine. The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her and decided to start by understanding her behavior. So, the doctor also wear black and carries a black umbrella; squatted outside together just next to her, rain or shine, everyday without fail.So...days goes by... the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of words for one solid month...One fine day, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"

Record IV
A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. . She got curious and went to take a peek.. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself..."Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter, how would I know??"

Record V
Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of them fell from the tree and started rolling on the ground.After a while, the patient rolling shouted to the top: "Hey! How come you are not coming down yet?"The patient on top replied: "No.. no... I can't...I'm not ripe yet"

Record VI
One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...how? I think I'm a chicken since I was born..."Doctor: "Woah! that's very serious...Why do you only come and seek treatment now?"Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."

Record VII
One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home after unloading the stuff.He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.When he was about to fix on the new tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.The truck driver was very sad as he can't fish the bolts up; started to panic.Coincidentally, one patient walked past and asked the driver what happened.The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident.The patient nonchalantly replied: "Can't even fix such a simple problem...no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..." he goes on explaining:"You just have to take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones"The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why do you stay in IMH?"Patient replied: "I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!!!

I <3 RitterSport

You know, last night made me realise something.

How much you can actually love Chocolate =\

GAHHHH! I am addicted to it.... d[-_-"]b

Outreach + JB

I am half asleep while typing this...

I did my Outreach from 07oohrs - 1230hrs so that makes 5.5hrs... I did 4 hrs of Outreach in the Chen Su Lan's home not too long ago so that makes 9.5hrs...
d[O.o]b I need to complete a total of 10hrs each year... =\ gah! I still need 30mins of Community Outreach...

I cant think right now my brain is half asleep. After the Outreach Programme, Zac fetch me and we went JB with a friend of mine and her family we had fun... ate nasi ayam penyet xD... It was delicioso...

So after which we went to Autobac cus Zac wanna take a look at rims and tyres for our little Skittle... He was so tempted to have it fix just now... I can see it in his eyes O_O
hahahaa... We went to City Square to buy my stuff you know..... make-up and stuff =\
I just cannot live w/o make-up D: My Friend had promise her kids that she'll take them to the arcade today so we made our way to Tesco.

And we had fun in the arcade me and Zac got our hands on a shooting simulation game that has always be our FAV!! We like 'Resident Evil' best d[^_^]b So to sum up, I had fun today I love my life.... xD
Zac is feelin' under the weather suddenly so i told him to get medical leave for tomorrow so if he is gonna consult a Dr he'll be fetching me tomorrow from work YAY!!!!!!!! =\ GET WELL SOON HUNN.... I <3>

Community Outreach Tomorrow...!! What a Bummer d[-_-]b

Heres a Pic of my Meez and Zac's Meez....



Just a Random Pic...
So dun ask...


Ugh...
Whare the hell is Kebun Baru CC anyways...
Well, tomorrow is gonna be swamped...
And the worst thing is...
...
....
......
.........

TOMORROW IS EFFIN' SUNDAY!!!!

Anyways, atleast Zac will be fetching me xD and SKittle!!!
We'll be going to Johore maybe gonna give Skittle a Bath there...

[On the phone with Zac]

Zac: hey babe.

Me: Hiiiii xD

Zac: I'm going for Staff Parade now...

Me: 0.o? What's that?

Zac: It's like Last Parade.

Me: ouh... ok call me back after! ily...

Zac: ok. ily too...

Me: bye.

Zac Bye.

--------------------------------

d[^_^]b

Where was I? oh yea -_-"
i dun wanna go to the stupid Outreach... d[v.v]b

If you're wondering what we are gonna do there, its Health Screening =\
I guess its a good thing... I mean hadn't done anything good lately...
So yea... =\

And one more thing, my cell is still being retain in the workshop... She said oh 2 days later you may collect your phone... Its BEEN a week NOW!!

I miss my Sony Ericsson C905 D:

Ok, im gonna roll now gotta wake up before the sun actually rise on a Sunday Morning d[-_-]b




-ellyster-